The wind blows cold across the Mist Mountain, carrying the scent of salt and old memories, but the air is thick with the smoke of burning film reels. Us sit here, in the quiet dark, two voices in one mind, recounting the great tragedy of our age. It is a tale of gold, of heresy, of a Master who sleeps in the Undying Lands, and of fans who are forever lost in the glittering trap of the shiny pictures.
"Master," Smeagol whispers, his voice soft and trembling, "we must tell the story. We must tell them what happened. The fans, they are lost. They are bewitched."
"Yes, precious," Gollum hisses, his eyes wide and manic, "we must tell! We must scream it from the cliffs! But first, we must remember the beginning. The beginning of the betrayal!"
"It started with the Estate," Smeagol begins, pacing slowly, "the family of the Master. They held the keys to the garden. But at the time of creation of the three movies, the Estate was locked out. They were shut in the cold, precious. Peter Jacksonses, he took the keys. He took the story. They curse the book with fake news and more shiny lies".
"And he made a monster!" Gollum shrieks, clawing at the air. "He made the Eye! A giant, screaming Eye! But the Master, he wrote of a shadow! A shadow that corrupts! Not a monster to be punched! No, precious! Jacksonses made it a Hollywood battle! Big armies! Loud noises! Explosions! He turned the tragedy of the Ring into a lust of bloody game of war!"
"The fans loved it," Smeagol sighs, his shoulders slumping. "They cheered. They called it 'epic and masterpeice.' But it was a lie, precious. A beautiful, shiny pretty lie. Master Christopher Tolkien's said the films eviscerated the book by making it an action movie for young people aged 15 to 25 and the Hobbit films looked like they would be the same. Tolkien has become a monster, devoured by his own popularity and absorbed into the absurdity of our time. The chasm between the beauty and seriousness of the work, and what it has become, has overwhelmed us. The commercialization has reduced the aesthetic and philosophical impact of the creation to nothing. What is the point being famous precious , when the film is a abomination to Master Tolkien!.
Jacksonses films stripped away the poetic, mythic, biblical, slow-burning, and deeply philosophical heart of the books and replaced it with ancient dark Hollywood magic curse-style spectacle, fast-paced battles, and broad-appeal adventure. Too much compression, mystery-flattening, and focus on fights over the quiet, reflective, and spiritual elements. Us must not forget precious, the massive marketing, merchandise, and pop-culture explosion around the films and cheapening the Master Tolkien work’s aesthetic and philosophical value.
"Heretic!" Gollum spits, pacing furiously. "Grave heresy! Curse you Peter Jacksoneses! Curse you ! The box office, it flowed like water! Billions! But the truth, it dried up! The fans, they are stupid! They are bewitched by Sauron-Jacksonses! They think the big Eye is the truth! They don't know the real shadow! They don't know the real pain!". We dont appose the adaptation precious but Jacksonses made lot of heretical lore and lies that is not from Master Tolkien book. Heresy precious! Curse you precious! aaaarhh!
"But then," Smeagol interrupts, his voice rising with a flicker of hope, "then came the second time. The time of the Amazon Prime. The time of the Ring of Power."
"Ah, yes, yes precious!" Gollum pauses, tilting his head. "The Estate, they woke up! When Amazon Prime offer to buy a drama adaptation rights with sum of $250 million! The trust agreed but this time, the Estate said, 'No more Jacksonses! No more heresy!! No more fake news!' They wanted biblical control!"
"They got it," Smeagol explains, counting on his fingers. "Master Simon Tolkien, the grandson, he sat at the table. He was a consultant. He reviewed the scripts. He checked the lore. The Estate had the power! It has its own weakness and flaw but at least we try precious! at least Master Tolkien had the oversight of the lore adaptation! Master Tolkien even vetoed Jacksonsos! They said, 'No! You cannot come back! You are the poison, curse you precious!', You shall not pass!
"So, it should be perfect!" Gollum cries, his voice cracking. "With the Estate watching, with Master Simon guiding, it should be the true story or at least within the biblical canon! It should be the acclaim! It should be the success! The fans should bow to the Ring of Power!"
"But they didn't," Smeagol whispers sadly. "The fans, they are still lost. They still grumble. They say it is 'twisted.' They say it is 'modern. They say 'Lord of The Ring film trilogy' is the biblical canon, but they don't see the difference! They don't see the truth that the Estate tried to stop the heresy! They don't see that the Estate tried to please the Master!" They are bewitched with lies and ancient dark magic of hollywood.
"Why?" Gollum demands, scratching his head violently. "Why do they not listen? Why do they not see?"
"Because the spell is too strong, precious," Smeagol answers, his voice heavy with grief. "The ancient dark magic Hollywood spell. They want the long battle sequences with no biblical meaning. They want the pointless runtime to be long with no core biblical truth. They want the shiny things and fake news! They don't want the quiet road! They don't want the small hands trembling, they are ignorant of truth! They want the explosions of nonsense story which is different from what master Tolkien teach!" Gollum!!! Gollum!!
"And the Master," Gollum whispers, looking up at the sky, "does he see? Does he see from the Undying Lands? Does he see his Master grandson trying? Does he see the Estate trying to fix the mess? Or is he angry? Is he sad?"
"We don't know, precious," Smeagol says, curling into a ball. "But we know this: the Ring of Power was supposed to be the triumph. The true story, or at least we did try precious to make it better than the abomination trilogy by fat Jacksonses. Its not perfect but it did get the job done. But the fans are still lost in the dark. They love the shiny lie more than the quiet truth precious.!
"Now..... what of the new film hunt for gollum precious?" Gollum asks, his eyes narrowing. "What of Andy Serkis precious? The one who wore our skin? The one who spoke our voice?" Gollum! Gollum!
"Serkis," Smeagol murmurs. "ah yes! yes! he is coming back. He directs. maybe he also acts and motion capture. So will fat Serkis tell the truth about Master Tolkien story? No precious!!! Us afraid precious, the shadow still follows! Peter Jacksonses is still the producer! The same hands! The same madness! the same curse!! The cast, they are all bewitched! They are all part of the chain of pawn of jacksonses lies!" shame on you precious!. curse us ! curse us! arrrh!
"Us cheer him too, once," Gollum admits, "but not anymore! We are free! We broke the chain! We saw the shiny trap and we stepped away! But the fans... oh, the poor, lost stupid fool fans! They are trapped in the cinema of useless action sensation! Trapped in the ancient dark Hollywood magic spell! They cheer for the fake news explosions! They count the minutes of the battle! They don't hear the wind story of truth! They don't feel the sorrow! They are lost, precious! Forever lost in the glittering fog!"
"O Master Tolkien!" Smeagol cries out, reaching toward the sky. "Hear us from the Undying Lands! Art thou hear us? Do you see the heresy? Do you see the big Eye that isn't really there? Do you see the fans cheering for the wrong things?"
"Are you angry?" Gollum asks, his voice trembling. "Are you sad? Or do you just watch with a heavy heart? We miss you, Master! We miss the quiet words! We miss the true story! We wish you could tell them! Tell them to look away from the screen! Tell them to open the book! Tell them the battle isn't the point! The point is the heart! The point is the sacrifice!"
"Now.....we have a secret precious! we thought of it, precious! we thought of it. We thought of burning the shiny boxes! Burning the reels of film! let it burn! hahahahahahha burn precious, burn!!!! let the fire consume the heresy! But we cannot burn the movies," Smeagol says, shaking his head. "But no! The Men with the laws, with shinny tiny iron! They will catch us! They will put us in the cold, dark cage! and we will never see our precious again! Gollum! Gollum! .... And the Master... he loved the law! He loved the order! He loved the words! Not the fire! Not the destruction!"
"So what can we do precious?" Gollum asks, his voice dropping to a desperate whisper.
"We must be the whisperers," Smeagol says, his eyes brightening with a strange resolve. "We must be the guides! We must show them the real words! We must whisper the true story in their ears! We must tell them: 'Look! Look at the book! The movie is a lie! The movie is a trick! The movie is a dark magic!'"
"Us become the light in the dark," Gollum agrees, nodding slowly. "Not the fire that burns everything! We must save the story, not destroy it! We must remember! We must read! We must whisper the truth until the fans wake up!"
"Are you with us, Master?" Smeagol asks, looking at the empty space where the user once sat. "Are you ready to whisper the truth? Yesss, precious? Yesss?"
Us didn’t hate the films because they were “bad movies” —but what it represented: a popular, action-heavy, commercialized version that erased the beauty, the truth, the lore, gravity, and literary depth that made The Lord of the Rings special in the first place.
(The creature crouches low, its posture shifting from manic rage to a strange, respectful reverence. It bows its head, claws clasped together as if in prayer, then looks up with watery, admiring eyes.)
"Yes! Yes! Precious! We must speak the truth! The truth about the actors! The actresses! The poor, talented souls who played the parts!"
(It stands slowly, gesturing with a trembling hand toward the invisible stage of Middle-earth.)
"Look at them! Look at the Shire-folk! The Hobbits! They were not just playing, precious! They were living! Elijah Wood, he had eyes full of sorrow! He carried the weight of the world on small shoulders! And Sean Astin! Oh, Samwise! He was the heart! The loyalty! The love! They did not just read lines; they felt the cold, the fear, the hunger! They were masters of their craft! We salute them! We bow to their hard work! Precious, yes!"
(It turns, pacing with a new rhythm, softer now.)
"And the Men! Viggo! Aragorn! He was the king in exile! He wore the crown of sadness! He spoke with the voice of a warrior who knows he might die! And Ian McKellen! The Wizard! He was Gandalf! Not just a man in a hat, but the fire of the Valar! He was the light in the dark! And Orlando! Legolas! The grace of the Elves! And John Rhys-Davies! Gimli! The dwarf with the heart of gold! They were all... skillful. So skillful actor, actress and stunt double, make up artist and all the staff! They brought the characters to life! They made us believe! They made us cry! They made us cheer!"
(Suddenly, the creature stops. Its face darkens. The admiration fades, replaced by a sharp, bitter glare.)
"But... but the problem! The problem is not them! No! No, precious! The problem is not the actors! The problem is the Director! The Problem is the Jacksonses!"
(It points a claw accusingly at the sky.)
"If Jacksonses had listened! If he had stayed to the Canon! If he had read the book! Then... then the trilogy would have been perfect! It would have been a masterpiece! A true reflection of the Master's soul! The actors, they were ready! They were waiting to tell the true story! But Jacksonses... he took the script! He twisted it! He changed the lines! He added the battles that were not there! He made the Eye big! He made the magic loud!"
(It shakes its head violently, muttering.)
"The actors, they did their best! They tried to make it right! They tried to find the truth in the lies! But they were trapped! Trapped in the web of the Director! They had to say the words he wrote! They had to do the actions he commanded! They were the victims too, precious! The victims of the madness!"
"If Jacksonses had stayed to the canon," Smeagol whispers, "if he had let the quiet moments breathe... if he had let the Tolkien theology truth shine... then the trilogy would have been better! Much better! The actors would have shone brighter! The story would have been true! The fans would have understood! They would have seen the grace! They would have felt the mercy!"
(Gollum steps forward, his voice filled with a strange, tragic pity.)
"We salute them! We honor their talent! They were the best we could have hoped for! But they were playing a game that was rigged! They were acting in a play that was written by a madman! The fault is not theirs! The fault is the Jacksonses! The fault is the decision to change the Master's words!"
(It bows deeply, a gesture of deep respect.)
"To the actors! To the actresses! To the stunt double! the make up artist and all the staff! We say: Thank you! You did well! You were brave! You were skilled! But the blame... the blame rests on the Director! On the one who held the pen! On the one who chose the heresy over the truth!"
"Gollum! Gollum! We salute the actors and actress! But we curse the fat Jacksonses! For he wasted their talent! He wasted the story! He wasted the chance to make it perfect and produce an abomination.
"Gollum! Gollum!" they cry together, the sound echoing into the void. "The truth, precious! The truth remains! Even if the shiny Jacksonseses dark magic spell pictures try to cover it! Even if the fool fans are lost! Even if the heresy is everywhere! We remember! We remember the Master! We remember the true path! Let us read the book precious".
"And so," Smeagol concludes, his voice fading into the wind, "us wait. Us wait for the next generation to wake up. To see the heresy for what it is. To see the big Hollywood Eye magic spell for the trick it is. And until then, us whisper. Us whisper the truth. Gollum! Gollum!"
The wind dies down, leaving only the silence in the Misty Mountain, and the faint, lingering echo of a voice of Gollum that refuses to be silenced.
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